Lascivus Wanton: Lust
by alientheet
Summary: Snape and Harry are drawn together by hate, but soon find other feelings getting in the way. As they learn more about each other Harry learns the reason for both Snapes hate and attraction for him. MM, Slash, minor 16, MC.
1. Chapter 1

**Lascivus Wanton **

**Chapter 1**

The tall man strode between the desks, inspecting the contents of the cauldrons, his dark hair hanging over his face.

"So," he sneered, stopping before Harry's congealed mess, "once again the famous Harry Potter fails to brew a simple potion when the instructions are on the board for all to read."

The bright green eyes clouded over with anger and hate and the man felt his answering arousal; _Lily's eyes, _how many times had she looked at him with those eyes, that anger? He vanished the potion and promised Harry a fail if he couldn't finish the potion properly before the end of class, before striding back to his desk to hide his growing erection.

Sitting safe behind his desk he let his eyes follow Harry as the boy collected ingredients from the cabinet. _Lily, _he remembered the green eyed vixen standing up for him before that arrogant bastard James. God she'd been sexy that day, her green eyes flashing in anger as she told James off. That was the only thing that fascinated him about Harry, Snape told himself again, he reminded him of her. _Not James._

Glancing up at the clock Snape realised the class was almost over and forced himself to relax, feeling his hardness subside as he turned his mind back to the class and their potions.

"Well Mr Potter, it appears you do not wish to pass my class. 10 points from Gryffindor for your shoddy potions work and detention, 8 o'clock tonight. Do not be late unless you wish it to be every night this week." Again Snape felt the twinge of arousal as the green eyes flashed at him. As the class filed out he followed them, turning left as they turned right and heading for his office.

He had no more classes for the day so he sat at his desk in his office and thought about a suitable punishment for the Potter boy. "Perhaps I can make him copy out the method for that potion until midnight…" he murmured aloud as his eyes roved around the stone walls lined with jars. Finally his eyes settled on a small vial. A pale pink potion glittered inside. _No! No, it is illegal, and wrong. He will talk. You could lose your job. Worse, you could go to Azkaban for that!_ Again his mind turned to possible punishments, _legal_ punishments. "He could polish the candle brackets along the wall," they were tarnished and the wax had dripped over the holders and down onto the stone. He realised his eyes had once again settled on the pink potion. _Lascivus Wanton, _Lust. "Perhaps I could make him write _"Being famous does not make me a hero"_ about 1000 times…" Snape felt the sneer twist his face as he thought of Harry Potter, sitting across the desk, forced to write that he was not a hero, he would be angry, very angry… again Snape was staring at the potion. He felt his heartbeat quicken, he couldn't do it, he knew that… but god how good would it be to see those green eyes filled with hate turn on him in lust. Potter, forced to want him, no; _need him_, a man he hated; to fuck him, hard, and be fucked by him, and enjoy it, even as he hated himself for it. That would be the ultimate punishment; it would take him down a notch or two. And maybe he wouldn't tell anyone… maybe he would be too embarrassed at his own actions- his own _enjoyment_ of it- to ever mention it to anyone. Of course he couldn't do it, but he felt his hardness at the thought, felt his breathing grow ragged as his hand slipped off the desk, seemingly of his own accord, to rest on his throbbing cock.

He remembered when Harry had first come to Hogwarts. The mix of Lily and James in his features had fascinated Snape, and as the boy grew into a young man that fascination had grown into a weird attraction that fed on the boy's hatred of him. _James always hated me too;_ the thought jumped unbidden into his mind. James had never missed an opportunity to humiliate the young Snape. He remembered the young mans face, so like Harry's except for the dark eyes, remembered his powerful shoulders that had knocked into him so many times in the hallways, his narrow hips and small buttocks, his long hands and the way they held his wand… Lily, it was Lily he loved, her green eyes and small frame, he found he couldn't remember her face as clearly ass he used to, the features kept turning into Harry in his mind, confusing him, causing his eyes to return again and again to the potion…

Harry walked quickly down to the dungeons, not wanting to be late and earn himself a week of detentions. As he reached the door he knocked and entered on Snapes invitation. The room was shadowy and dark after the brightly lit hallway, and Snape sat behind his desk, looking up at Harry with a, intensity which made Harry wonder what terrible punishment the man had come up with.

"Sit," Harry did as he was told, "you will write _"Being famous does not make me a hero"_ until I am satisfied you have learnt the lesson. Then you will clean and polish every candle holder in the room until they shine."

Harry stared in silent hatred at the greasy haired man before him as he pulled a quill and parchment from his bag. He sat and began writing. After about 10 minutes Snape stood and got a pitcher of water, sitting it on the desk with 2 glasses.

"You may drink if you are thirsty, Potter"

Harry stared suspiciously at Snape, but the man had poured his own glass and now stared intently at some papers on his desk, seemingly ignoring Harry. Harry was thirsty, but he didn't want to show any signs of weakness before Snape. Nor did he trust the man's apparent politeness, he continued writing lines, and Snape continued to ignore him. Finally, an hour later, his throat dry, Harry gave into thirst and poured himself a glass of the water, sniffing it and tasting it suspiciously before swallowing the whole glass in one gulp. He thought he felt Snapes eyes on him, but when he looked up his eyes were once again on his papers, so Harry continued to write lines.

Suddenly a wave of euphoria overtook him and he almost gasped aloud as pure pleasure threatened to engulf him. As the wave subsided he found himself studying Snape, seeing the way his dark curly chest hair curled at the neckline of his robes, seeing his dark dark eyes flicker from the parchment he was reading up to Harry and back. Snape stood and seemed to flow across the room to study how much Harry had written. Harry could smell the warm muskiness of him as he stood close to look over his shoulder, felt his warm breath in his ear as he asked "do you think you've learnt your lesson Potter?" Harry felt his spine tingle in response and got an instant erection at the low husky tones of his professor's voice.

Gods, he'd never noticed Snape like this before, never been this aware of another human being… and Snape of all people…

"Yes Professor," he had to force the words out through his suddenly swollen lips, and heard the hoarseness of his own voice.

Suddenly his eyes fell on the empty glass on the table and a horrible suspicion filled him… he wouldn't…would he? But he'd threatened Harry with Veritaserum countless times before, hadn't he?

Then again, maybe right now he didn't care either way.

He looked up and realised that Snapes face was close to his own, very close… he could see the reflection of the candle in the dark depths of his eyes. Before he could think about it he felt himself lean forward, kissing those thin lips, feeling them open under his as Snape returned his kiss passionately. Harry's breath drew in sharply and he felt his heartbeat suddenly speed up, a wave of need filled him and suddenly he lost control, his hands flying to the ties of Snapes robes, tugging at them till the robes fell to the floor. Oh god he wanted him, under his robes he was naked, his skin dark and glistening in the candlelight, Harry stared, unable to help himself, his eyes taking in every aspect, from the defined muscles rippling over his chest to the fine dark hairs leading down his stomach to… oh god… a moan escaped him as he took in the long hard cock and suddenly he had to have it.

He took it in his mouth and heard Snape groan, he felt his own arousal grow even further at the ready responsiveness of this sexy man to his touch. He licked and sucked, felt Snapes stomach muscles quiver and tense under his exploring fingers, his hand found Snapes arse, and it was tight and round, his fingers explored, finding the crack and the tight little hole, his index finger slipped in and suddenly he felt Snapes whole body tense and he exploded into his mouth, an involuntary groan of release escaping him, the muscles around the hole tightened around his finger and for a second Harry thought he would come too, wasting his load on the cold stone floor, but then the urgency was back and he knew he needed to take him now… he tried to turn Snape around, wanting to fuck him hard and fast but the man prevented him, his own hands slowly undoing Harry's robes, teasing, his fingers caressing his stomach as the robes came open, then travelling down and circling his hard cock, softly running his thumb over the tip.

Harry moaned in frustration _"please,"_ he didn't realise he had spoken until he heard the word, he was begging now, needing it so badly, but Snape continued to tease, and Harry seen that he was being aroused again, the sight of the cock slowly hardening turned him on even more & he reached out and touched it, loving the way it rose up to meet his fingers.

Slowly Snape turned him around, running his fingers lightly over his arse cheeks and exploring in between them, Harry felt the hot tip of Snapes cock rest against his arse crack and he leant back onto it, feeling the resistance, and then the slick feeling of it sliding deep into him… _Where did Snape get the lubricant?_ The thought wandered into his mind and then back out as the feelings took over, Snape rocked slowly backwards and forwards, letting his whole length go out and back in, then he reached around, his hands smooth with lubricant and touched Harry's hard cock softly, still teasing, Harry groaned and pushed himself hard against the hand, and suddenly it squeezed and he felt himself cry out as he nearly came. Snape's movements got faster as he slammed again and again into Harry's virgin arse. It occurred to Harry that maybe it should hurt… but it felt so good and any pain seemed insignificant against the intense pleasure. Snape slowed down and suddenly pushed deeper and Harry realised he'd been holding back at least an inch before, and that inch made all the difference, he felt like it reached the centre of his being and every thrust was intense torture, the pressure built and built and he knew he couldn't stand it much longer, then Snape came, he felt the hot liquid push deep inside of him and he couldn't take it anymore.

Harry pulled away from Snape and turned to him, kissing him roughly and desperately before turning him around and pushing him onto the hard stone ground, he spread his cheeks and watched the small star shaped hole rise to meet him, he lay down and pushed himself in, feeling it close around him… it was so warm and tight and absolutely amazing, he thrust in and out quickly, and felt the scream torn from him as finally he came so hard, feeling his cock clench and the hot flow pump out again and again as he collapsed exhausted next to Snape on the floor.

Snape felt relaxed and pleasantly exhausted. It had been so good, way better then he could ever have imagined. He turned to look at Harry, wanting to enjoy the last moments before the potion wore off. He looked into his green eyes, they were no longer Lily's eyes but just Harry's, as Snape finally accepted it had been Harry he had wanted all along, never Lily. He waited for the relaxed sleepiness in Harry's eyes to disappear, to be replaced by realisation and disgust and then anger. Harry lifted his hand to touch Snapes face, running his fingers lightly down his jaw line and over his stomach, then lower to rest around his spent cock. Something stirred in Harry's eyes, and he gripped his cock harder, leaning in closer to kiss him, and Snape felt Harry's own cock stir again against his stomach. The potion only lasted for the one orgasm, and Snape knew this time it was Harry alone who leant against him, trailing his hands over his arse, kissing him slowly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The day after**

It was almost two in the morning when Harry got back to his room. Ron was awake, sitting up in bed reading his book about the Chudley Cannons, but he put it down with a sympathetic look as Harry lay down on his own bed.

"Well? What did the slimy git make you do this time?"

It took a second before Harry realised what he was talking about; "oh… the detention! Err… I wrote some lines."

Ron gave him a strange look, "what else but the detention? Well at least you only got lines… last time I had detention he arranged with Filch to make me clean all the toilets on the first floor!"

"Oi mate, are you ok?" Ron asked after his horror story didn't get the response he expected.

"Yeah sorry mate, I'm just tired." Tired didn't come close to the complete exhaustion he felt. Every muscle quivered with fatigue and the pain he hadn't felt earlier now made itself known- it burned and ached and he dreaded the next time he would have to go to the toilet. Ron settled down to sleep but despite his exhaustion Harry couldn't stop thinking… what had happened? It must have been a potion, he must have put it in the water, but could even Snape stoop that low? Surely he would go to Azkaban if anyone found out. So all Harry had to do was tell Dumbledore and he would be rid of Snape forever. He imagined going to see Dumbledore, looking in those twinkling blue eyes and explaining how Snape had given him a potion which made him want to sleep with him, he imagined understanding and sympathy filling his eyes; "well Harry… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I ever trusted Snape, he will have to go to Azkaban of course." But Dumbledore trusted Snape, had always trusted Snape, despite any evidence that he still worked for Voldemort. What if Dumbledore didn't believe him? What if he thought it was a lie to get rid of the teacher he had always despised, or worse, that Harry had wanted to sleep with him and was now looking for an excuse for his actions? What if he asked Snape about it and Snape said Harry had initiated it, had wanted it, and had enjoyed every moment of it- well technically he supposed he had initiated it, and he had certainly enjoyed it- but that was under the influence of the potion, surely Dumbledore would understand that. He imagined Dumbledore staring at him accusingly; "I've told you before Harry, Snape has my complete trust, if he says that you made inappropriate overtures to him during a detention then I believe him. And Harry you should know that this behaviour is entirely unacceptable. You will have to be expelled, I will not put up with this behaviour from any student, even you Harry." No he couldn't risk that, and he couldn't bear the thought of telling Ron or Hermione. Usually he could tell his two best friends anything, but he didn't want them to know he'd slept with Snape. What would they think? What would they say if they knew about… a picture of Snape's long powerful body and big erect cock entered his mind, he felt again as it entered him, filled him, made him scream out with pleasure... Gods, he could never tell them that! Suddenly he realised his body had reacted to the memory; his erection was huge and throbbing. Horror filled him, how could that memory have that effect on him? He must still have the potion in his system! He would never forgive Snape for forcing him to think about him like that. It was already light before he managed to get to sleep, and then his dreams were filled with dark haired men forcing him to do things he didn't want to do and laughing at him as he did them.

Snape woke the next day feeling refreshed. He'd slept better than he had in years. Suddenly he remembered why; remembered the smooth hands, the hard cock, the eagerness of that warm soft mouth. He'd wanted it. The famous Harry Potter had loved having the Slytherin house-heads cock up his arse. At first it was the potion but after that his young body had made its own demands known; he'd come another 2 times before he'd left, looking shocked and confused but not able to stop his eyes from raking Snape's still naked body one last time.

What would happen this afternoon in potions? Harry would have had time to think about what had happened. He would know it had been a potion of course. But would he realise the potion had worn off long before the night had ended? Probably not. The thought amused Snape. Harry wouldn't even realise that he really had wanted Snape, enjoyed their passion even without any outside influences. He will hate me for it, thought Snape, remembering how his eyes flashed green sparks when he was angry. And this afternoon? Will he expect another detention? Will he expect Snape to pursue him? The arrogant bastard probably would. Harry Potter: loved by all. Snape sneered, hating the thought that perhaps he had inflated the boy's ego even more.

Harry sat at the back of the dungeon, he was nervous and shy. He didn't know what to expect. Should he confront Snape? Tell him he knew that he had illegally given him a potion to coerce Harry into sleeping with him? What if Snape gave him another detention? Could he actually believe Harry would ever accept another drink from him? Or would he just force it down his throat? Well this time Harry would do well in potions, there would be no excuse for another detention. Harry snorted; when had Snape ever needed a reason to give a Gryffindor a detention?

The dungeon door swang open and Snape swept in and glanced around the room. Harry tried to avoid looking at him, but somehow their eyes still met. Snape glanced away, no expression showing in his cold, dark eyes. A wave of anger flowed over Harry. How dare he pretend nothing has changed after what he did to me! Snape waved his wand; "instructions on the board, and please try not to do quite so dismally as yesterday." Harry stared up at the board, determined to read every line twice and make no mistakes… which might have worked if it wasn't for the turmoil that was his mind at the moment. He was so angry; he couldn't stop himself glancing every few seconds at Snape, looking for some sign of acknowledgement, maybe even guilt for his actions. Snape didn't look up at Harry once. Within four lines Harry realised he'd made a serious mistake. The instructions said the potion should be turning buttery yellow and emitting white steam… his was dark green and the smoke was grey and choking.

"Potter, did you stir the potion twice in a clockwise direction before adding bark of elfwood?"

"No sir" Harry choked. This was it, detention again, his heart beat fast and he saw again Snape standing naked before him…

"Well it seems you do not care at all about passing his year, and Minerva is determined to help you become an Auror. Perhaps I should let her in on the secret that has been obvious to me for years; you are too impressed by your own intellect to notice how small it actually is." He emphasised the word 'small' and glanced down at the front of Harry's robes as he said it. Harry burned with embarrassment and anger, not even noticing Malfoy's loud laugh of appreciation. "50 points from Gryffindor, Potter" Snape swung back to his desk.

Harry stared after him in confusion. He had just stopped himself from asking Snape if he was going to give him a detention. He'd expected Snape to try again, after all Snape was obviously attracted to him… wasn't he? Why else give him the potion?

To humiliate him… to force him to submit to him! God he was stupid… was he really that arrogant? He really had thought Snape had wanted him! Now would Snape think that Harry wanted him? Would he think Harry had deliberately made a mistake on his potion? Trying to get another detention? Maybe Snape thought his plan had backfired… he'd tried to humiliate Harry, thinking he would hate it, and instead he'd enjoyed it and wanted to do it again. So now Snape would think Harry was gay, or worse, that Harry actually had a crush on him? Gods, he had to stop thinking about it. What did it matter what Snape thought? The man gave him a potion to make him sleep with him! The man was an evil, amoral monster!

That night the dreams started. He'd barely fallen asleep when Harry found himself once more in the dimly lit dungeon, sitting across from Snape. Snape was naked, his skin shining, he was marking papers, Harry got up and approached him and realised he too was naked, he felt himself get an erection as he looked at the naked man before him. Harry knelt down and took Snape in his mouth, gently sucking and teasing with his tongue. Snape ignored him, and Harry's movements got faster as he tried to elicit a response. Harry felt himself get more and more desperate, until he sat on Snape's lap, face to face with him, staring into his eyes. Snape stared back, face blank and uncaring. Harry started rolling his hips back and forward, feeling Snape's hard cock move inside him. He moved faster and faster, feeling his breath get shorter as the intensity built. He awoke just as he exploded, Snape's blank face and uncaring eyes still in his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Friends and lovers**

After a week of waking up every night with his cock hard and dripping and Snape's face in his mind Harry's nerves were on edge. Snape had not once looked at him except to complain of his potions work and take points from Gryffindor. By comparison Harry found his eyes continually drawn to that dark enigmatic figure. He knew that at the teachers' tables during meals he remained silent and withdrawn, rarely entering the conversation except to make the occasional scathing comment. He also knew that in potions he deliberately ignored students making obvious mistakes that could easily be rectified, waiting until the damage was irreversible before standing up to insult and degrade them. He knew when he was angry his eyes looked black, but when he was enjoying himself- generally when taking points of Gryffindor students- they turned deep brown. Harry hated him. He was a mean, vindictive person who revelled in causing anguish in those weaker than himself. Yet he couldn't keep his eyes off him. Every night he dreamed of him and he knew he was becoming increasingly obsessed. He felt a weird fascination which he couldn't shake. Ron and Hermione had noticed his preoccupation but didn't know what was causing it. He told them he wasn't sleeping well because of nightmares and Hermione looked at him in horror before he assured them they didn't involve Voldemort. He knew they didn't believe him but couldn't be bothered spending the energy to convince them- particularly when he much preferred them believing that to suspecting the truth.

As Snape sat down for breakfast he glanced at the Gryffindor table, not looking straight at Harry but glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. The young man was staring at him again. His face was unreadable at these times, his eyes were deep set and troubled behind his glasses and Snape just wasn't sure what to make of it. He was still deeply attracted to him, Snape realised. He had thought he'd got it out of his system but the flashing green of his eyes as Snape humiliated him yet again in potions- a feat easy to achieve thanks to Potters hopeless Potion work- still caused him instant arousal. He loved making him angry, loved that this sexy young man hated him with so much passion. He concentrated on his food, eating quickly and efficiently. Potter had a double of potions again this afternoon, and Snape was looking forward to it. After breakfast he had some free time he intended to spend finding a particularly difficult potion to stump his afternoon class.

The day sped past, and then he was entering the dungeon, once again seeking out Potter without looking directly at him. He waved his wand and noticed the writing on the board was unusually small and cramped; yes a difficult potion. He sneered at the class; "before you are the instructions for a potion called Veritaserum, it is, as many of you will know, an extremely strong truth serum. It is also extremely difficult. The last ingredient must be added exactly a month after starting the potion, and therefore you will not be able to complete the potion in class today. Nor will you be able to finish it later, this is a dangerous potion and if made incorrectly can cause a myriad of serious side-effects. However Veritaserum is also very important in the wizarding world. At the completion of the portion of instructions on the board your potion should be a pale blue. I seriously doubt many of you will succeed. At the end of class you will put a sample of your potion in a flask to be tested and marked. Begin."

Snape felt a thin smile stretch his lips, the Granger girl was excited at the challenge and practically bounced across the room to the store. Circling the room he noticed that hardly anyone was even getting the first line right, it said powdered beetle wings, not crushed, and they were supposed to be added after the essence of dragon saliva, not before or at the same time. Granger appeared to be doing well unfortunately, but he had to stop Draco from heating his potion before stirring which could have had disastrous consequences. Then he was at Potters table. So far he had made no serious mistakes, but the young man stared at him defiantly, waiting for the inevitable comment. Snape nodded at him. "Well done Potter." The murmur of discontent from the Slytherin side of the room was worth it to see those green eyes open wide in shock, the pupils catching the candlelight and seeming to glow from within. Keep him off-balance; it was a fun variation in his little game. He felt Potters gaze follow him as he walked once more around the room before returning to his desk. It turned him on to know he was being watched.

As the class ended Snape watched the students file past him and deposit the flasks on his desk. The potions ranged from fetid yellow (Longbottom), to perfect pale blue (Granger of course). Potter was last in line and his potion was a darker blue; not too bad. As he walked past to the door Snape stood and followed, waiting till the rest of the class had left before reaching out to pinch him on the butt. Potter swung around, angry, but Snape stopped his protest by trapping his mouth in a kiss, to his surprise Potter responded, his own mouth opening, a moan escaping him as he grabbed around Snape's arse and pulled him close, unconsciously acknowledging his own attraction. Potters hands were on his robes, pulling at them, but Snape stopped him, turning him around he lifted the robes and pushed Potter down face forward on the desk, taking him from behind. Potter cried out in pain and pleasure. Snape came almost at once and turned, smoothing his robes and sweeping quickly through the still ajar door.

Harry got up slowly, still panting for breath. God… there had been no potion this time, how could he have wanted it so bad? Snape was gone… Harry was left confused and angry, and worst of all unsatisfied, his throbbing cock demanding relief. He ducked into the toilet on his way back to the Gryffindor rooms, spilling his load into the uncaring porcelain before splashing his face with cold water to try and combat the flush spreading up his cheeks.

As he walked into the rooms several minutes later he noticed Ron and Hermione in the usual chairs by the fire, both staring into the flames. He walked up and sat down, Ron glanced up quickly and glanced away, Hermione would not meet his eyes.

"What's up?"

Hermione looked at Ron then at him, "well Harry…" she began, Ron gave her a disgusted glance and stood, heading for the dorms. "Err… when you weren't following us after potions we went back to check where you were, and the door… it was open and we saw… well you know." She looked at him, blushing, her face concerned and embarrassed. "Harry, what happened? Did he make you…?"

"No…not this time" He was red and shaking, not wanting to tell the truth but not wanting to lie either.

"This time! Was there others?"

"Detention, last week, he gave me a potion… I think." After today Harry was no longer so sure the first time had been under the influence of a potion.

"Gods Harry… that's illegal! You have to tell…"

"No! I don't want anyone to know! And this time… there was no potion."

Hermione stared into the fire, silent for a while before continuing; "but Harry, why? How? You hate Snape!"

"Yes I hate him." He felt he should say more but there seemed nothing to add. He didn't know why; he just knew it felt good, and he couldn't help it.

"Ron… he didn't want to say anything, he dragged me away before I burst in and demand an explanation right there and then. I think he was scared… scared that maybe Snape didn't make you. I think he preferred not to know. I needed to make sure."

She stared into the fire for awhile longer, her face expressionless. Harry remained silent.

"Well Harry, If you need to talk…" she headed for the girls dorms. Harry sat for hours before he could stand the thought of going up and facing Ron. He needn't have bothered; Ron was pretending to be asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The secrets of Snape**

The next day everything was back to normal, at least with Ron and Hermione. Ron never mentioned anything, acting like the night before had never happened, and Hermione greeted him a little too brightly, but seemed to relax back into her old self over breakfast. Harry couldn't help watching Snape, and he was sure Snape's eyes travelled to the Gryffindor table more often then was normal. At one point Professor McGonagall leant over to talk to him, and Harry was sure from the irritated look on his face that she had asked if he was ok. He hid a grin as he turned his attention back to his porridge; so the impenetrable Snape was distracted too this morning. He looked up and saw Hermione watching him, an inscrutable look on her face. Ron on the other hand was determinedly facing the other way, talking to Seamus about Quidditch.

Snape was disturbed. He had lost control yesterday and he didn't like being out of control; it was too dangerous in his business. He had just meant to torment him more, kiss him and then demand he leave the room, taking 10 points off him for dawdling. But when Harry had kissed him back his head had spun and he could hardly remember what had happened next. He vaguely remembered the soft white roundness of Harry's arse cheeks beneath him, remembered his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he took him hard against the desk. Then reason had returned and he had fled, the door was still open and Snape had realised then just how close to catastrophe he had come- if anyone had seen… he would have been fired and probably sent to Azkaban, even if they didn't find out about the potion; Harry, at 16 was still a minor in the wizarding world, and neither the ministry nor Dumbledore took well to what muggles called paedophilia. Even in the unlikely event he avoided Azkaban he would be bereft of Dumbledore's protection, and in the precarious position he was in at the moment any unbalance of the subtle forces at work could only result in his death. He glanced again at the Gryffindor table and saw Granger studying him intently. Prying bitch… had Harry told her? No, he wouldn't have surely, but she was smart, maybe she had noticed on her own… after all the stupid bastard hadn't stopped ogling him in over a week.

The next potions lesson wasn't for several days, and in that time Harry could feel the sexual tension between them growing again. He couldn't stop himself from watching Snape, and found himself noticing how the man seemed to flow across the hall at mealtimes. He pictured him naked under the voluminous black robes, pictured how the muscles in his legs would ripple under the skin when he walked like that. Although Snape seemed to be avoiding his eyes again when their gaze did meet for a second he could feel the electricity.

When the next class did come he could feel the tension in his muscles, he had to constantly force himself to relax. He sat in the back of the dungeon at his usual table with Ron and Hermione. He could feel their awkwardness and knew they were casting covert glances at him to gauge his reaction when Snape entered the room. He wanted to act normal, give them no indication of the tumultuous churn of emotions that filled him lately every time he saw the potions master, but when Snape did enter the room their eyes met, and for a second it was if time stopped, they were the only two there and Harry felt his breath catch in his throat and a barely audible gasp escaped from him. Immediately he looked down but he knew they were staring at him. Snape put the instructions on the board as usual and as the class moved to the storage cupboards he caught Ron's eye. The tall redhead looked embarrassed and shrugged confusedly, half smiling before turning away with a frown. Harry hated the awkwardness between them but he couldn't blame Ron… he couldn't believe it himself. He just didn't know how it had come to this. He knew that he still hated Snape but those feelings just didn't seem as important as those intense moments when they kissed and touched. Repeatedly as Harry brewed his potion distractedly their eyes met across the room. The intensity in those dark orbs shocked and excited him, and he knew he was staying behind after class to spend a moment alone with Snape, and hopefully if he had no more classes more than a moment. He had transfiguration next but he just couldn't make himself care. Finally the class ended and the class filed out. Harry mumbled to Ron and Hermione that he would see them later, feeling the flush rise up his cheeks as they stared at him.

Finally they were gone and it was just him and Snape. They stared at each other across the room, Snape's eyes looking haunted. Then he closed the room and for a second Harry thought he was going to leave, but then he closed the door and cast an impenetrable charm on it. Then he glided back over to him and again Harry was struck by the graceful motion of his walk. Without talking they undressed each other. Harry stared, lost in the older mans eyes. How had he not noticed before how beautiful they were? Soft and deep and dark with long dark lashes. Snape pushed him back onto the desk and spread his legs, lowering himself on top of him, slipping his cock under Harry's own and into the exposed hole. He slid slowly back and forward, Harry's own cock trapped between their bodies, now slick with sweat. Slowly the pace of the movement increased, Harry felt Snape's strong stomach muscles grinding against him, his excitement building quickly. He heard soft gasping noises and realised that they came from Snape's slightly open mouth, the soft noises made him crazy and he was suddenly filled with a desire to see what other noises he could elicit from this usually so composed man. Reaching around he grasped the hard butt, feeling the muscles tense rhythmically as he thrust in and out, he squeezed then lightly ran his hands smoothly up over his back, he lifted his head and pushed his nose into the other mans neck, loving the sweet musky smell of his arousal. Closing his eyes he softly licked the thin sheen of sweat, then sucked and bit gently, then harder as he felt himself coming to the edge of the precipice. Harry called out as he felt himself come, felt it shoot up between them covering Snape's chest. The man's gasping grew desperate and hoarse and suddenly he almost screamed, the sound feeling like it was torn roughly from deep in his chest. Harry felt him pulse deep inside him. He laid back and stared at the man as he caught his breath, the dark eyes opening slowly.

Suddenly the expression in those eyes changed, they grew cold and hard and shrewd and Harry felt the familiar sharp pain as his mind was invaded. Pictures flew through his head, Dumbledore's blue eyes, Ron looking at him embarrassed, Snape gliding across the hall, Dudley punching him in the stomach… NO! He felt appalled and furious at the invasion and thrust back with all the strength of his anger and hurt at the betrayal in this moment when he was so vulnerable. He felt a barrier give and suddenly he found himself for the second time in Snape's mind. He saw his own face and someone else's- a woman with green eyes; his mother, he felt a wave of emotion that was not quite love but definitely infatuation. He pulled back in shock.

"So that… that is why Dumbledore trusts you, you loved her…?"

Snape stared at him, shocked, then something stirred deep in his eyes, fear and… he was hiding something… something else even more private. Without thinking Harry dived for it, Snape fought and pushed him away, but not before he had it. He lay on the stone floor where he had fallen and seen it again and again in his mind, the Room of Requirement, candlelit, the walls covered in books, a young Snape sitting on the floor, studying, then James, Harry's father, bursting in, forcing Snape against the wall, taking him against his will, raping him, viciously.

Well I hope you're enjoying my story so far. Please review, Criticisms/ comments/ compliments welcome. The more reviews I get the quicker I will update.

Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Ignorance is Bliss.**

Harry lay on the floor, staring at the ground but seeing only his father's face, laughing and happy; as it had been in the photo he had of his parents wedding. How could he have done it… suddenly a wild hope filled him- he didn't do it! Snape was a master occlumens, he had created the image to hurt him! But one look at Snape's face told him otherwise. The older man wouldn't meet his eyes, he looked scared and guilty and angry all at once, and his eyes were filled with an old, deep pain.

"Why? Why did he do it?" Harry's voice was broken, almost a sob.

"To hurt me," Snape answered before he could stop himself. "James hated me; he would do anything to humiliate me."

"Sounds familiar" Harry spat, jumping up and throwing himself at the door. It wouldn't open and Snape passed near him to remove the impenetrable charm, wincing as Harry shrank away from his touch.

Harry ran all the way to his rooms, only remembering he was supposed to be in Transfiguration when he seen how empty the place was. He was glad. He didn't need Ron or Hermione's questions at the moment. He threw himself on the bed and finally let out the sobs that had been threatening to escape. He just couldn't understand how the man he'd heard so much about, who'd married his mother, who had died to protect them both, could be that same violent cruel man he'd seen in Snape's head. And he looked like him. Everyone said so. No wonder Snape hated him.

Snape sat in his room, staring at the wall. He'd never told anyone about that day. Not even Dumbledore, who knew everything else about him- except about his and Harry's current situation of course. He hadn't even thought about it in years.

James had been good-looking and popular. He and his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter had just about ruled Hogwarts in their time. Snape had been small, greasy haired and unkempt, his robes old and in need of repair. He had been smart, easily top of potions and Defence against the Dark Arts, he had made no friends and spent his time studying anything he could get his hands on, including the Dark Arts. Only Lily; beautiful green-eyed Lily, had ever made an effort to be nice to him. She too had been good at potions, and the day she had suggested they study together had been the day James had found him in the Room of Requirement. As he had raped the smaller boy James had yelled at him and beat him across the head, "never go near my girl again! If you ever so much as talk to her I'll make you sorry you were ever born Snivellus, I'll make this seem like making love, you hear me? Me and Lily are gonna be happy together, she loves me, she'd never look at a greasy haired little Snivellus like you, she told me before she only talks to you cause she feels sorry for you, you poor little snotty excuse for a witch!" When he had finished he'd thrown Snape to the floor and kicked him in the stomach. "Don't forget Snivellus, touch her and you're dead." Snape had never talked to her again. When she stood up for him against James he'd called her a mudblood, and that was the end of any friendship they'd ever had.

His mind returned to Harry. What had he meant 'sounds familiar?' How would he know what it was like to be hated and humiliated? The famous Harry Potter; every body loved him… suddenly he remembered pouring a pale pink potion into a pitcher of water. But that was different… I didn't rape him, he enjoyed it! But would Dumbledore see it that way if he knew? Would anyone? Had he done to James' son exactly what James had once done to him?

"Harry?" The small voice whispered from the doorway. Harry quickly wiped his eyes before turning around to meet Hermione's concerned gaze. She came in and sat on the end of his bed, "you didn't come to Transfiguration, so we thought we'd check up on you." He looked up and saw Ron standing hesitant by the door, as he turned the light reflected off his still wet cheeks and he heard Hermione's quick breath; "are you ok? What did he do?"

Harry turned away; "nothing."

"Harry this is important, if he hurts you you need to see Dumbledore, it's illegal as it is, I'm not going to let him get away with hurting you as well."

"It's not that, I'm fine, really."

"Er, well, as long as you're fine…" Ron started backing away.

"Ron," Hermione looked at him disgusted, "come back here and stop being silly! Harry is our friend; you can't just keep pretending none of this is happening!"

Suddenly Ron went red "Harry is fucking Snape! If you want to pretend that's ok than that's fine, but I wont! It's not ok; it's disgusting! I'm not going to stand around here and discuss whether or not Snape is good in bed or whether he is rough on poor little Harry! I think this whole thing is sick and I don't want to know and I don't want to hear about it, ok?" He stamped from the room, leaving Harry and Hermione staring after him shocked.

"Sorry Harry. He's upset, that's all."

Harry nodded, feeling sick in the stomach. Everything was wrong. His father was a rapist, his best friend didn't want to know him and he was sleeping with someone he had abhorred for as long as he had known him. Why was nothing ever easy for him?

"So… please tell me what's wrong Harry?"

His harsh laughter at this absurd question soon resolved into tears and then he found himself sobbing uncontrollably into Hermione's shoulder. "Everything is wrong. Everything." She patted his back comfortingly. "Hermione I saw into Snape's mind. He went into my mind and I pushed back, and I saw… something; something terrible."

"He was a Death Eater, Harry, he must have seen loads of terrible things." She continued to pat him on the back, her voice soft and comforting.

"No…" he hesitated, he didn't want anyone to know, but if he didn't talk to someone he might go mad, and his list of people to talk to was pretty short at the moment.

"It was my dad, it was James. He came in on Snape studying when they were back at school together. He raped him. He was cruel Hermione, he was rough, and he hit Snape when he struggled."

She stared at him, disbelief warring with horror on her face. "He wouldn't have done that Harry, he couldn't have. Your dad was a good man, everyone says so."

"Yeah but they were his friends weren't they? Of course they only saw his nice side."

She shook her head, "ask someone, Dumbledore or Remus, don't let Snape turn you against your father, he could have lied, anything… you don't know."

"I know. I saw. It wasn't a lie. He did it." Harry collapsed, he felt like all his emotion was spent, and now he was just empty.

"James is gone Harry. We might never know exactly what happened, or why, but we know that he was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he opposed Voldemort's evil. And sorry Harry, but it's not the first time you saw something that you thought was real and that turned out not to be. And even if it did happen, he was young Harry, he may have made a mistake, maybe he learned from his mistake. Don't judge your father on one bad thing he may have done. He loved your mother and he died protecting you both. He may not have been a perfect person, but he was a good father to you."

Snape looked around as he entered the hall for dinner; Harry wasn't at the Gryffindor table. He didn't know why he cared anyway. Harry's hate for him had never bothered him before, had turned him on in fact. But suddenly, now Harry knew the truth he was scared. Harry had knowledge about him no-one else did, and he didn't know what he would do if he looked at him in contempt- like James had. Would he think he was weak for not standing up to James, or would he think he'd deserved it, that his precious father would only have done it if he'd asked for it?

Why wasn't Harry at dinner? Granger was there, sitting by herself, nose buried in a book as usual, and the Weasley boy sat several seats away from her talking to his sister. He debated asking one of Harry's friends but decided that would be too obvious, especially if they were already suspicious. Instead he finished dinner and headed back to his rooms.

He closed the door as he entered and sat at his desk, pulling out some homework to mark. Almost immediately there was a knock at the door. Harry entered. He stood there and Snape stared at him uncertainly. Harry looked just as uncertain.

"I need to know the truth. What happened between you and James and why."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Love, Hate and Sex.**

A million thoughts went through the tall dark man as he stared at the younger boy before him. Harry looked pale and frightened, but determined. His green eyes blazed, reminding him so much of Lily, while the dark unruly hair made him see again the hated face of James. What should he do? Lie? Tell the truth? Would Harry believe him if he told him it never happened, it was a lie he made up to hurt him? What about if he simply pretended not to know what Harry was talking about? What was he thinking- he was a teacher; why didn't he just order Harry to go away and leave him alone?

Because he couldn't, Lily's eyes stared out at him, demanding the truth. He felt a wave of guilt as he remembered the way her face had crumpled as he had called her a mudblood so long ago.

"From our first year James hated me," he began. He couldn't believe he was doing this. How could he tell this boy who looked so like James his deepest, darkest secrets. He had never been one for soul-baring; only Dumbledore knew who he really was, and that was only because he had come to him so distraught, after finding he had been responsible for Lily's death. He had been rambling at the time, half insane with guilt and pain. He'd told Dumbledore everything, needing punishment, hoping for death. Instead Dumbledore had offered him revenge. A way to work against the man who had killed her.

He came back to the present, the green eyes shocking him, taking his breath away as they came on the tail of his memories of Lily's death. "God's… I can't do this…" he hadn't meant to say it aloud but Harry heard him, stepping forward and sitting down across the desk from him. He didn't say anything, just stared at him across the table.

He felt vulnerable, out of control. It made him angry. "What happened is none of your business, it is my life, Potter," the man sneered, "you are just like him, but I am not smaller then you, and you will not control me. Now get out."

The green eyes narrowed, suppressed anger making the face go red. "No, you are bigger then me, and more powerful, with more magic, more potions at your disposal, and the immorality to use them. You didn't need to trap me in the room of requirement, didn't need to force me against the wall," he was deliberately graphic, wanting to hurt the man, "no, you just gave me a potion in a glass of water. But it amounts to the same thing, doesn't it, Professor?" The word was said with contempt, twisted into an insult.

Snape seemed to flow out of his chair, coming around the desk, Harry stood up to meet him. He stopped a step away from him, his breathing ragged and his hands clenching and unclenching at his side. God's he wanted to hurt the bay, to throw him on the floor and hurt him as badly as he knew how… to hurt Harry as his father had once hurt him. Harry had no idea what it was like, yes he would never have agreed to sex with Snape without the potion, but that didn't compare to rape, to being forced as you struggled, fighting as hard as you could and still not being able to stop it. Didn't compare to lying bleeding on the floor, knowing that the perpetrator had the strength to do it again, anytime he wanted, that he would never be safe again, to the fear, the pain, the guilt…

Snape struggled with his emotions, he felt weak, small, like a scared little boy. Again. He'd fought most of his life to overcome this feeling, to never be put in this situation again. He'd joined the Death Eaters so he would never again be the victim.

Harry stared, confused, at the turmoil of emotions over the usually impassive face. How could Snape feel so much? It made him more human, less the impenetrable potions master. Suddenly Harry wanted him, wanted to fuck him now, while his emotions were so raw. His own anger at Snape seemed to feed his arousal, the two sensations combining in an intensity that took his breath away. He reached out, curling his arm around Snape's thin waist. The dark eyes met his and he seen the answering flare. Suddenly they were both panting, everything else forgotten in this primeval meeting of raw needs, Snape fumbled for a second with Harry's robes before ripping them open, he pulled the young muscular body hard against him. Harry pulled Snape's robes off, turning him around and pushing him down, entering him in one movement.

Snape screamed. The sound was shocking, pulling Harry up from the haze of excitement that had taken him. The strong body bucked under him, and he fell onto the floor, staring up as the man stood. Snape's face was white, his eyes were black with pain. He grabbed his robes and practically ran from the room.

Harry grabbed his own robes and followed. He didn't know what he was doing, all he knew was that he needed to know the truth, and this might be his only chance.

Snape ran, not sure where he was headed, pulling on his robes as he went. His mind raced with images, Harry, Lily, James, he just couldn't seem to separate them in his mind, and when he'd been pushed into the floor it had been James' hands on his back, James' cock pushed into him… The walls of the castle flew past, strangely blurred, and he realised tears were coursing down his face. God's, he'd better not run into any students, his reputation would be ruined. The thought was abstracted, seeming to come from outside, but he ran his sleeve over his face anyway. He found himself outside, the grass wet and cold against his bare feet. He didn't slow until he entered the cool darkness of the forest. The shadowy tree's and muffled forest sounds soothed him. He'd used to come here, when he was young. By himself with his potions text book, to sit in the deep shade away from the jeers of other students and work on his spells. He'd invented many spells, the creative energy required allowing him an outlet for his frustration. It had been an escape, many of the spells invented with James in mind, the young Snape used to dream about trying out his hexes on the stronger boy. But he'd never had the courage to do more then dream.

He heard soft footfalls behind him and spun, pulling his wand out of his robes. Harry stepped out of the trees. Snape sighed. His anger was spent and a kind of peace came over him. "James had always hated me. Sirius followed suite. Between them, with James' popularity with Gryffindor, the other houses natural antipathy towards Slytherin, and the Black family's connections in my own house they managed to turn just about the whole school against me. Needless to say my school years were not the pleasure many people find them." Harry was staring at him, his green eyes intense, he showed no inclination to interrupt or disbelieve the story. So like James, yet not. He was more thoughtful, less impetuous._ More like Lily._ "Lily was my friend. My only friend. She used to talk to me, wave to me in the corridors. She was a sweet person, she had no streak of meanness in her, and I think she sensed my need for friendship at the time. It was in our fifth year when I realised I loved her. Unfortunately James developed a crush on her at the same time. She suggested we study for our potions OWL together since we were both good at the subject. James heard of it, and he found me in the room of requirement, and he punished me. He told me if I ever spoke to her again I would suffer worse then ever. So the next time James tormented me, she stood up for me, as I believe you seen in the pensieve last year, and I called her a mudblood. I hurt her, and she never spoke to me again. Three years later she married Potter."

Harry watched Snape's face settle back to the usual blank mask. Only his eyes showed his inner turmoil. They were a deep black, as he had noticed they were whenever Snape was in the grip of some strong emotion, and they kept flickering to his face and away, as if frightened of what they might see there.

"Did she know?"

"No! Well, I can't be sure, but I don't believe she would have married him if she had."

"What about Sirius? Remus? Petigrew?"

"I don't know… I used to think they all knew, that they were laughing at me. Now I'm not so sure."

His father had been a rapist. And Snape? A victim? But now what was he? He had given the potion to Harry, and made him want to have sex… but there was a difference between being made to _have_ sex, and being made to _want_ sex. _What do I want?_ _Him. I want him. Whether it stared with a potion or not now the feelings are there and I can't ignore them_.

Harry stepped up to Snape and slowly put his arms around him, felt the older man relax in his arms


	7. Chapter 7

Well I've only had 1 review on this site so I'm leaving it here. If anyone is interested however I am continuing on adult fan fiction.

sorry I didn't realize the web address wouldn't come up so here it is again:

ww w. adu ltfan fict ion. ne t/af f/story.p hp?no5 44199245

Obviously you will have to take out the spaces but hopefully it will work this time. By the way I am up to chapter 8 on adult fan fic so check it out there if you still want to continue the story. Sorry guys but it's easier for me to only update on one site and since I wasn't getting many reviews on this site I thought I'd go with the other one.


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